Finding and giving that special someone a special gift can be very difficult; however it does not have to be! You want your gift to be used, well liked, and treasured by the person you're giving it too.

So, what *IS* a great gift? A great gift is:

* Truly unique, personal, and creative;

* It demonstrates to the recipient the thoughtfulness and caring that went into planning and securing the gift;

* Evokes emotions from the recipient whenever it is used, seen, or thought about;

* Makes the recipient truly feel special.

A great gift doesn't necessarily have to cost hundreds or thousands of dollars to be great. However, getting a gift that is cheap, or getting one "on the fly" while on your way to the event, can show how much "you don't care" and/or how little thought you really gave to this person.

Things to think about and consider before you start to shop and buy:

1. Who is the recipient? Is it your spouse, significant other, sibling, parents, relative, close friends, neighbor, or business associate?

2. Next, what is the occasion? Holiday, birthday, anniversary, graduation, wedding, engagement, promotion, a "just because" occasion, or maybe it's the "I-need-to-get-out-of- the-doghouse-occasion?"

3. Try to avoid excessiveness. Simple gifts tend to also be very well received.

4. Don't wait until the last minute. It only gives you too little time to get a great gift and also shows how much you don't care.

Another great gift giving secret to keep in mind is to buy the recipient something they *want* and not necessarily something they *need*. I am sure you have thought, "I would KILL to know what it is they really WANT!" Well, think about it; it's in our human nature to restrain our impulses. We may really want something but if it is not something we really need or for someone we love, we probably will not buy it. (People tend to NOT buy things for themselves, "just because.") Most people definitely tend to have wish lists as long as their arms; even if they hide it well! So, when giving a gift to a loved one, friend, or neighbor, try to buy them something from their wish list, not their shopping list.

Now, that sounds simple right? Sometimes gaining access to their wish list is complicated and can be an almost impossible part for most people. You will probably need to play detective. By that, I certainly don't mean that you should start stalking your family and friends or start digging around in their past! However, I do mean you need to keep your eyes and most importantly your ears open. Be sure to listen carefully; when people around you make references to unique, fun, or exotic gifts they would love to own; take note (writing it down is a good idea, for future reference)! When possible, go shopping with this person, or take them shopping with you. Then when this person ohs and ah's over, window displays, an item picked up off the shelf, or an object drooled over; you're right there to take first hand notes! In short, be sensitive to every person on your gift giving list's wants and desires. Doing this ensures you to find the perfect gift.

In addition being creative is another fantastic way to ensure getting the right gift. Everyone loves it when it's obvious their gift required some imagination, thought, time, and creativity. So as you're going through the "what do I get them" process, remember that a little bit of creativity, uniqueness, and personalization will go a long, long way to pleasing even your toughest gifter!

The true measure of a great gift will be seen in the eyes of the recipient when they get it. You'll know it, you'll feel it, and you'll feel great yourself when you've given the "Great Gift"!

Gift Giving No-Nos for Men

* Its probably not a great idea to give her something mom said was pretty. She's not your mom and if she ever finds out who suggested the gift, you can bet you won't be seeing much of her or at least the gift anymore.

* Don't buy her the 'interesting' outfit you saw the local cheer leader wearing and that goes for Xena's warrior costume too. It's a good idea to save your fantasy dressing games for YOUR birthday gift; or go shopping for them together! Anything that is too low at the top or too high from the bottom is usually a no-no.

* You will *NOT* want to buy her a toaster, oven, microwave, or any other kitchen appliance she's been thinking of buying. You may think you're helping, but she's likely to think you are asking her to be a better cook! (Buying her an expensive oven or a book on decorating cakes if she's a baker would not qualify here.)

* Gag gifts are not good gifts *EVER*. Having her sit down to a "bodily function" sound coming from the chair or a bunch of snakes jumping out from a canister, are not good idea's!

* Beer, video games, posters, DVDs, CDs - save them for your male buddies.

Great Gifts to Buy for Her

* Splurge on a holiday at a spa resort or a few hours of massage and relaxation for her. Women *love* being pampered and looking like a million dollars at the end of it is an added bonus (for her and you). Female is synonymous with luxurious pampering.

* Buy her a potted plant such as a bonsai. While cut flowers are traditionally the gift of choice for women and most women love them, a potted plant suggests commitment and longevity. She will enjoy it as she nurtures it and watches it flourish. However be sure that the plant is not too high maintenance, lest your unique gift become added stress for her or worse dead!

* Personalized gifts are a great idea. Women are sentimental creatures. Put her name on it, the date, or better yet, a short, sweet message from you. Anything that includes a photo of the two of you or the kids is also a very good idea.

* And lastly, the "you-can-never-go-wrong-with-this-gift" gift for women would be: Jewelry, of course! Pearls or diamonds; earrings or pendants; a bracelet or necklace; large, small, new, or antique, expensive or not so expensive - it's all welcome.

While shopping for women can be considered by some; stressful. Let me tell you buying gifts for men isn't easy either. So for all you woman out there some gift giving guidelines ought to help you out; at least a little!

Gift Giving No-Nos for Women

* Buying him the shirt, tie, underwear, or socks you saw in the latest Cosmopolitan or Woman's Day is defiantly out. You don't want to try to change him.

* A framed picture of yourself. You love it; he's already got so many pictures of you in his mind, he can't figure out what he needs this one for!

* Jewelry. Huh? You must be joking!

Great Gifts to Buy for Him

* The latest in electronic innovation. A cell phone, PDA, DVD player - the more complicated it is to figure out, the more he'll love it.

* Season tickets to the NBA, NFL, NHL, or the MLB for him and his male buddy (note: NOT you). This is guaranteed to make you the woman in his life; and him, the envy of every male he knows.

* Another really popular gift with men is stock. There are on-line websites, which actually allow you to choose a company and the number of stocks you want to buy. It's a great gift that keeps on giving because it can grow in value over time.

* And lastly, the "you-can-never-go-wrong-with-this-gift": Beer. More beer. And some more beer. There are even websites out there now that you can buy a subscription to, much like a magazine; they send you a "beer a month."

Whatever gift you choose, remember that the real joy in gift giving is that it comes from the heart. You must honestly enjoy the creating and buying of the unique gift you choose. Using these simple tips will help ensure that the recipient will also enjoy receiving your gift as well and it will *NOT* become a "re-gifted" item!

Jennifer Sprague, co-owner of "Attachment Parenting Products with High Top Baby Designs" High Top Baby Designs. She has several years of teaching experience, working with infants through adults. As a nanny, daycare provider, teacher, and is currently studying to become a Doula and a Lactation Consultant. She enjoys spending time with her two wonderful children, Aubrey and Zachary. "Contact Jenn of High Top Baby Designs" Jennifer is also an advocate for peaceful parenting everywhere she goes. © 2005 High Top Baby Designs. All rights reserved.